Quality Time.

Like all moms who work outside the home, I suffer from the guilt of being away from the family.  I work three out of four Saturdays a month, sometimes work nights, and have a long(ish) commute, depending on the time of day I am driving.  I miss the time with Biggest and Littlest.  I would add Hubby in there but he stays up past 7:00 pm most nights, so we can usually connect.  Since I have been sick for the past couple of weeks, I thought it would be important on my weekend off from work to spend some quality time with the kidlets.  Poor things have been stuck with Hubby (maybe I should reverse that?!) while I have been hiding in my bedroom under the covers, trying to avoid breathing the plague on my loving family. 

Yesterday may have been a bit of a flop at quality time, but I still managed to get the kids out for some errands with me.  Now to most adults, going to Trader Joe’s and Target may not seem like the most exciting morning but to a 4 and 5 year old, it is pretty darn sweet, especially when Mom caves in and buys Lunchables to eat for lunch.  In my defense, I was still feeling like crap and didn’t want to cook.  They had a healthy dinner though.  Of course, it was cooked by Hubby….

So today, I had a plan.  Earlier in the week, Cuz (the cousin who works at Sephora, I may have mentioned her a time or two?!) and I agreed to get Biggest and Littlest together with her son, who I shall affectionately refer to as A-Man.  We had a plan.  We were going to go bowling with the kids, to burn energy and have some fun.  When this morning came around, we had formed an even better plan, we were going for bowling and burgers at The Nook.  For those who aren’t local, The Nook is one of the best places in town for a burger and fries, especially if you are a Juicy Lucy fan like myself.   What adds to the excitement is that The Nook has a small bowling alley in the basement. 

So at 11:30 this morning, me, Biggest, Littlest, Cuz and A-Man met up in the basement of The Nook.  We had great timing, since the place was just starting to fill up with families.  We hurriedly ordered our burgers and fries to nosh on so we could get out on the lanes before they were full.  Thankfully, Cuz had the forethought to put our names on the list.  I have never seen three kids eat so well or so fast.  It is like they knew they were on a mission.  Or it could be the burgers are really that good.  After lunch, we headed over to our bumper filled lane.  Yup, we had the bumpers.  What did you expect with two 5 year olds, a 4 year old, and two adults who can’t bowl to save their lives?  We needed those things!  Actually, we could have used a ramp but there was none to be found. So we started to bowl.  Do you know what it is like to watch a 4 year old try to push a six pound bowling ball down the lane?  It is like watching paint dry.  Slow and painful.  Just sayin’.  I love my kids but they are not coordinated bowlers.  God forbid, Cuz or I should try to help them speed the ball down the alley.   It is better for them to do it themselves and watch the ball roll back and forth between the bumpers like a bad pinball game moving at a glacial pace.  Actually, at one point the ball got stuck hallway down the alley and we had to have someone come roll it the rest of the way for us.  Yup.  That happened. And this all repeated for the 10 frames we played. But that was not the worst thing.  You know what is the worst?  When you are beaten at bowling, with bumpers, by two five year olds and another adult.  Yup.  That happened too.  I lost to everyone but Littlest.  I am not a good bowler.  The only strike I got I threw between my legs.  Biggest and A-Man were picking up spares and A-Man also got a strike.  I was also taunted by Cuz for hitting the bumpers almost every throw.  Um…..dude.  So did you, Cuz, so did you….

In the end, Biggest and Littlest finally got some fun quality time with me after a couple of weeks of missing me.  We were silly, we were loud, we just plain had fun.   They got the quality time they were craving.   I guess that is all that matters when all is said and done. 

SJ&YP note:  Littlest is not mad in the picture. 

She just was being a stink pants and refusing to smile. 

I don’t know where she gets this stuff from….

 

 

Growing Older…..

The other day at work one of the best songs ever came on.  It was Pump Up  the Volume by MARRS.  I was ready to bust out my junior high dance moves, which naturally, I did.  What struck me as odd was the 20 year old I was working with at the time didn’t seem to know most of my moves.  He was perplexed that anyone could ever dance like that in public on purpose.  Doesn’t he realize how cool it was in the late 80’s and early 90’s?

I don’t want to admit it but lately I am realizing my age.  It is true, I am not 16 any more.  Hell, I am not even 26 anymore.  I have to face it, the things I knew from my youth are no more.  Much like generations before me, I am forced to face the fact that young people will start to look at me strangely for going into detail about things we did in our youth, like making up dance routines on our battery operated boom boxes at recess or trying to shot that God damned dog while playing Duck Hunt on the Nintendo (which I always had to play at my friend’s houses because I wasn’t allowed to have one).  Gone are the days when   I must get used to being met with blank stares when I talk about awesome movie/song/toy/whatever references from days of old.  Here is a list of things which have made me realize I not a youngin’ anymore:

• I know what a card catalog is and have used one.  Do kids even have these anymore?   Will the classic library scene from Ghostbusters confuse the hell out of our kids in the future?
• At one point in time, I had a large selection of the clothing line Multiples in my closet. And a pair of Zubaz (the zebra print ones) which I wore with a black T shirt, rolled the bottoms and donned a felt hat.  Oh yeah, I was stylin’.
• I also used to tight roll or pin my pants.  I like to cling to the idea that it was the original skinny jean, so I was just ahead of my time.
• I had a pager. Yup, I was cool.
• I learned how to write cursive in elementary school. Apparently, this is becoming a lost art.
• I have made mixed tapes by recording songs off the radio.  The trick was, start recording after the DJ stopped talking but before he started up again at the end.  Those guys always managed to ruin the best songs… 
• Some of the movies I saw in the theater:  ET, All Dogs Go to Heaven, Big, Return of the Jedi, Muppets Take Manhattan. 
• Email was still a relatively new concept when I was a freshman in college.
• I remember when the first Sweet Valley High and Babysitter’s Club books were released (plus The Fabulous Five, Sweet Valley Twins, you name it).
• My first cell phone was huge.  It held phone numbers, had a few basic ringtones, and I could play the game “Snake” on it.  That was all it did. I managed to survive.
• I used to record TV shows on a VCR. It was a bummer if you accidentally recorded over something.  It was a bonus if you knew how to record on one channel and watch another.
• Saturday mornings were the time for cartoons. They were not educational.  They were Kid Video, Gummi Bears, Smurfs, Dungeons and Dragons, Muppet Babies!
• I don’t think I was ever put in a carseat or a booster seat.  Not sure what they did when I was a baby…..could explain a lot.
• MTV played music videos.  You were only distracted (and slightly annoyed) when Kurt Loder did a brief news break every now and then.
• My hair scrunchie (which was probably on my wrist, not in my hair) matched not only my shirt and pants, but also my socks.
• Some phones had dials, not buttons.
• We had the original Barbie Town House.  It was made of cardboard.
• TGIF used to be something you watched on ABC on Friday nights.
• My penny loafers actually had pennies in them. So did my Kangaroos. I also kept all my LA Gear key chains and buttons.
• Cassette tapes I possessed:  Vanilla Ice, New Kids on the Block (both New Kids on the Block and Hangin’ Tough), Paula Abdul, a vast array of Madonna albums, Milli Vanilli.
• I used to watch the NKOTB VHS tape, Hangin’ Tough, repeatedly.  It was awesome!
• I remember Mayor McCheese, Fry Guys, and the Hamburgler.   I even remember when they launched the Chicken McNugget.  I still have the figurine somewhere.
• We had the original Care Bears, Strawberry Shortcake dolls, and My Little Ponies. 
• I still have my Pound Puppies, including the ones you could buy at Hardees. 
• I know who shot JR.

Younger generations, like Biggest and Littlest’s, you may laugh at these ideas now.  You may think you are so cool and advanced, that you will never be old and cling to your memories of times when nobody had an iPhone.  Just wait.  Someday, the iPhone will be outdated, you will be the only person who knows how to text, what Facebook is, and who Dora the Explorer was.  Then you will know how I am feeling right now.

Hello, Rosie!

Last week I watched a vlog from one of my new favorite bloggers, Kandee Johnson.  If you haven’t checked her out, I highly recommend it, both of her blogs are amazing.  She was rocking a new do, bleach blonde and short (sound familiar?), and was talking about her hair change and general acceptance of others personal style choices.  Sounds pretty cool, right?  Well, it absolutely was.  However, part of the way through it, I kept getting distracted by her hair and makeup!  Kandee was rocking a bandana in her hair with a adorbs cat eye and bold lips.  Um, yes please.  I just had to try it.

After a few attempts and a YouTube video later, I was able to master the bandana in my own hair. Even better, I mastered it for wear in public, not just around the house to cover up my frinkly morning just-liked-by-a-ninja-cow ‘do.  If you are wondering why this was such a victory, hair is one area I lack talent.  My poor kidlets are screwed if they ever want more than a basic braid, piggys, or a ponytail. Now, if they want to learn how to do a cat-eye or smokey eye?  That I can do.

So this morning while getting ready for work, I was feeling spicy and anxious to try out my new (borrowed) idea.  I was feeling like a bad ass Rosie the Riveter all day long.  Of course, no day is complete at work with out new clothes coming in for me to drool over and be inspired by.  You can imagine, today was no exception.  When a new striped jacket appeared at the store, I was absolutely in love.  I quickly shed my green Prairie Underground hoodie (for those who know me and my love of my Prairies, this is not something easy for me to do) and donned the new jacket, making the old outfit look kind of sad.  Sorry ‘bout it, Prairie.  I still love you though.  The fit of the ponte jacket was amaze-balls, giving my shapeless waist a shape!   Who would have thought it was possible?  Plus, I was loving the fun vintage feel to the outfit, the hair and the makeup.

Now if only Hubby would take me off the spending hiatus.  I think I have been good long enough!

(No, the store logo in the photo was not intentional.  It was purely accidental.)

Jacket:  Stripe Ponte by Get

Jeans:  Slim Cigarette by 7 for All Mankind

Shoes:  Dolce Vita

Bandana:  I don’t know.  Possibly Fleet Farm?

T-Shirt:  Madonna concert (similar here)

Don’t We All? – A Review of “I Just Want to Pee Alone”

A couple of weeks ago, I was given the chance to review a book written by a group of mom bloggers.  Not just any mom bloggers, but a bunch of mom bloggers most of whom I already loved and followed myself.  Who wouldn’t jump at the chance to do a review of that?  I threw my name in that hat as quickly as possible!  Thankfully, I acted quickly enough, scored a free copy and was ready to indulge. 

When I first started reading the book, I was lounging in a hot bath, just relaxing.  Imagine Hubby’s surprise to hear giggles and snorts emerging from our bathroom.  I couldn’t help it.  From the start, I was relating to almost all the posts in the books. Over the course of the next week and a half (I am usually a fast reader but in my defense, I have been sick), I have  followed the journeys of these moms as they traveled through various stages of embarrassment, self realization, basically, real life as a mom with one or more kids.  In many cases it was like reading my own story.

So what will you get?  You name it, you will probably find it in here.  Sex, pregnancy, toddlers, nudity, bodily functions, breakdowns….it is like watching reality TV on MTV and TLC all at the same time.  Want to bond over the pressure of a 40th birthday party?  You got it.  Want to cry over the things no one told you about being pregnant?  You got it.  These moms will shoot straight from the hip about almost anything.

What did I love? These moms are real.  They are not holding anything back, just telling it like it is.  These women are putting their vulnerabilities on the table and that is something damned hard to do.  For any of us, blogging is a lot like standing in public naked.  What some of these ladies write about is like standing in Time Square naked while being displayed on a jumbo-tron doing a sassy little dance.  That takes guts.  The moms were sharing such authentic and real stories which hit so close to home,  I almost felt like I could have written some of them myself (although they would have been way less entertaining and eloquent).

What did I love not so much?  Everyone parents different and views thing differently.  There were a few stories where I was uncomfortable about the way some moms were portrayed by others.  I will not get specific, since everyone has their own views of motherhood but a couple did not line up with some of my own personal opinions of what makes a successful mom or happy family.  But you know what they say, opinions are like……well….you know….

What is the bottom line?  Seriously, go buy the book.  Read it.  Love it.  I know you will not regret it.

 

Want to buy your very own copy of “I Just Want to Pee Alone”?  Here you go!

KINDLE - CLICK HERE.

AMAZON PAPERBACK BOOK DELIVERED TO YOUR DOOR - CLICK HERE.

APPLE - Buy it at iTunes.

NOOK - B&N is taking its sweet time. In the meantime, you can get it from Smashwords. Just follow the instructions for NOOK. CLICK HERE.

KOBO AND SONY READER - CLICK HERE.

Mom Gets Sick.

It is bound to happen.  No one can escape it, not matter how hard you try.  Eventually, you are going to get sick.  Thankfully, it is rare for me.  Before kids I almost never got sick.  Even after we made the cutest little plague incubators in the world, I still rarely get sick.  Sounds great right?  Sure, except when I actually do get sick, I get sick.  Knock you on your ass sick.  World is about to end sick.

Of course, this past week has been no exception.  Last Friday at work, my throat started to hurt.  Naturally, I ignored it. At work on Saturday, I thought my head was going to fall off my shoulders and my throat killed.  After work on Saturday, I accepted the fact I felt like crap.  So I went straight to bed when I got home.  Hubby and kidlets understood.  By Easter morning, I felt marginally better.  If not, I would have some wine at Easter dinner and medicate my illness that way.  That always works right?  Monday, I still felt blah but it was Mommy-Biggest day.  We had things to do.  Again, by the end of Monday, I was getting back to feeling like crap.  So instead of going straight to bed, I wrote a new blog post (you’re welcome).  For the rest of the week, I pushed myself to get to work and back (speaking in what was described to me as a transvestite-smoking-a-pack-a-day-voice) and came home to crash.  By the end of the week, my sore throat/head cold/laryngitis had progressed to include a sinus infection.  Super.  Even now, more than a week later, I am still coughing and not 100% myself. 

On the bright side, I am surrounded by a great support system, lead by my Hubby. All week long, he has run the house, urged me to rest and relax, and taken charge of Biggest and Littlest.  He has brought me water, tucked me in, and even slept with Littlest when I coughed too much last night.  I don’t know how other moms do it if they don’t have a supportive husband.  Mine was a lifesaver.  The best part?  He will not hold it over my head when I am better or he wants something.  He just does it because he loves me.  Spoiled, much?  Yes, I think I am.

Sounds pretty perfect and easy, right?  Not at all.  All week I missed my kids and Hubby.  They were able to come in to give me quick smooches and snuggles, but mostly just gave me space (probably trying to avoid my germ-infested self).  Hubby and the kidlets got to hang out, play, giggle, have dinners together, while I slept, blew my nose and generally wallowed in my own misery. 

Today was no exception, being the first day without working to sleep it all off.  This afternoon, I forced myself out of bed to go play outside with the family.  I threw on a bandana, to cover the hair which was sticking up every which way, a sweatshirt and yoga pants and watched my girls ride bikes in the street.  We picked up dog poop (I should have went back to bed for that one) and the kidlets ran around like crazy.  I even rallied long enough to eat dinner with the fam.  Of course, immediately after dinner, I was ordered by Hubby to go back to bed.  He would probably not be happy to learn I am on the computer right now either.

This germ had better works its way out pretty damned quick.  Mom has a life to live.  And on that note, I am off to bed.  Again.

 

 

 

Want to make me feel better fast?  Click on the pic below to vote for me at Top Mommy Blogs!

Spring Preparation Must Begin.

It is that time of the year.  Temperatures are starting to rise.  You can now see the grass underneath the snow banks, creeping towards the sun.  We have started cracking windows open occasionally to start freshening up the house.  And, of course, the biggest indicator of all…..the piles of dog poop starting to surface in our back yard as the snow begins to melt. 

It is at this time of year, I have to start thinking about spring preparations.  For some, this means getting their spring clothes out of the closet and packing away the winter sweaters.  For others, it is a time when they being to clean their house from top to bottom.  For most men, it is a time when the promise of projects in the yard and drinking beer in the driveway will soon commence.  For me, it is time to start getting myself ready for spring clothes. 

I am sure you are thinking I am referring to working out.  Sure, that will most likely be included, but not for the reasons you may think.  I am less than concerned about getting bikini ready.  That won’t happen.  Not without a tummy tuck.  I am talking about getting ready for shorts, sandals, dresses, etc.  To be honest, I cannot simply throw on these items willy-nilly.  I need time to prepare myself for this transition.  The time has now come.  So you are probably asking yourself, what the hell does she need to do that requires so much work?  Well here is my list:

• Jiggle control.  Yup, I am the woman who pigs out all winter long.  Hey, I still fit into my skinny jeans and rock them.  But I do not think it is any coincidence that all the fattening holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Easter) fall during a time of year when we are typically bundling up under layer upon layer of sweater.  Someone knew what they were doing with that one.  Honestly, I like working out in warm weather better.  I can get outside with our fur babies and give them a workout too or take the kidlets for a bike ride while I walk or run alongside.  The bummer is, to get into a great pair of Joe’s Jeans distressed shorts I bought on clearance at work, I need to tone up a little in the middle (where I carry all my weight).  And the thighs are looking thicker than normal too.  Nothing some effort and eating healthy can’t put a dent in.

(Fear not, I will not be posting every trip to Snap Fitness on facebook.  Then  you would know how often I go.  That would make me have to go more, which means I would be posting more and you would get annoyed.  So to save us all the effort, I have posted tonight’s first trip to the gym.  Unless something exciting happens, I will most likely keep future trips to myself, unless asked or unless a great blog post inspires me.)

• Foot patrol.  I am a freak for feet.  Not in a foot fetish kind of way, mind you, but for a good looking set of tootsies.  I firmly believe that if a person is going to rock a sandal, take the few minutes in the shower to work a pumice stone across your heels.  In addition, it is not hard to slap some Vaseline or Aquafor on your feet, don a pair of socks and go to bed.  Takes about 2 minutes to do.  Of course, ladies, take a few minutes to slap a little polish on the toes.  You will feel better.  Your feet will look better.  Even Biggest and Littlest get on board with this idea.  Those two love a good pedicure, Biggest even got one to match mine tonight, construction cone orange!  How can you rock a pair of Dolce Vita wedges with frinkle feet?  I am just sayin’.
• Hair removal.  I am fairly decent about shaving occasionally during the winter.  I try to hit that at least every other week on the legs (so as not to completely clog the razor) and once or twice a week under the arms (cut me some slack, I am a blondie).  The bikini area, however, gets ignored unless it is a special occasion where a bathing suit must be pulled out.  Now that warmer months are upon us, this hair removal regime must be stepped up a notch.  Under arms will be done every couple of days, legs twice a week or so.  Bikini area…..still up for debate.  It will get done eventually….
• Pasty skin elimination.  This is a big one for me.  I am fair skinned.  I don’t mean pretty porcelain skin.  I am pasty white.  My legs could glow in the dark right now.  Unfortunately for me, my skin is afraid of the sun.  I can’t tan.  I either burn and return to white or turn an odd pinkish-red color.  On the bright side, I am not a fan of tanning, in the sun or in a bed.  I put way to much work into my skin (thanks to my cousin at Sephora), to take the chance of turning into a leather hand bag.  My resource?  Self tanner, baby!  I love the stuff.  In the summer, I try to apply anywhere from one to three times per week.

I imagine at this point, other moms are starting to question why the hell I do this and where do I find the time.  The answers are simple.  Because I look and feel better and usually after the kids go to bed.  It is always about balancing things which make me me and being mom.  Plus, I think it is good for Biggest and Littlest to see that it is OK to take care of yourself to better take care of others.  Happy wife/mom, happy life, right?

So bring it on, Spring.  I will be ready for you.

 

True Confessions.

Tonight, as I was sipping wine, I was reflecting on a few things.  We all have secrets or little know facts about ourselves.  We rarely divulge them.  I thought tonight, fueled by a glass of wine, I would share some of mine.

• Confession #1 – This is starting with a big one.  Super embarrassing.  I used to pick my nose when I was little and wipe it on the wall next to my bed.  My mom would make me use a brillo pad to clean the wall occasionally.  GROSS!  At least I know I didn’t eat them….
• Confession #2 – I had more than one glass of wine before writing this post. 
• Confession #3 – I have sent my kids to bed early, not because they were being naughty, just because they were driving me crazy or I was crabby.  To be honest, I would have went to bed early myself but apparently that is not allowed.
• Confession #4 – I once bought a pair of shoes from a very large retailer, wore them twice, decided I didn’t like them and then returned them, stating they were uncomfortable.  In my defense, I ended up simply returning the one pair but buying two more.  Yes, I know this is bad.  I only did it once.  I still feel guilty.
• Confession #5 – I cheated on my high school boyfriend once.  Again, in my defense, he cheated on me first.  More than once. 
• Confession #6 – Sometimes I think my husband is a better parent than I am.  He is more fun.  I am more business.
• Confession #7 – Sometimes I don’t like shopping.  Since I get to do it all day long with other people, I don’t always feel like doing it for myself.  Or Hubby.  Or the kidlets.
• Confession #8 – I pray Hubby never learns to like premium denim, so I do not have to cut my own denim budget to buy him expensive jeans.  Same for Biggest and Littlest.  
• Confession #9 – When Hubby and the kidlets are out of town, I don’t want to go out much.  I just want to go home and sit in silence.  With wine.  Alone.  So dreamy.
• Confession #10 – I don’t always think the customer is right.  Sometimes the customer is wrong.  I know this from experience.  (See confession #4)
• Confession #11 – On my days off, I often skip doing my hair and putting on makeup.  I almost always manage to shower or take a bath though. 
• Confession #12 – On my 16th birthday, I learned why you should not drink underage.  Especially the bulk of a bottle of Malibu rum, straight.  Sorry, Mom.  I didn’t really go to see “The Three Musketeers” after leaving the store Christmas party.  I still can’t drink that stuff, almost 20 years later.
• Confession #13 – I used to let the dogs sneak up on the couch with me when Hubby was gone.  Then I realized he let them do it when I was home.  What the hell?
• Confession #14 – For the past couple of years I have attended Comic Con.  I even dress up in costume.  I look cool.  (SJ&YP note:  Yup, that is me as Jem from Jem and the Holograms)
• Confession #15 -  I am a member of a book club called the Book Fluffers.  Yup.  I said it.  The Book Fluffers.  Surprisingly, we actually read the books we pick.  Well, the other members do.  I usually read the book a month or two later.  However, I still find ways to add to the discussion at the meetings.
• Confession #16 – When I was younger, I would put Miracle Whip on bread and call it a sandwich.  Um..yeah.
• Confession #17 – I could post more but a girl needs a few secrets.  And I have not had that much wine.
• Confession #18 – I wish I had more votes on Top Mommy Blogs.  It would make me feel popular.  Clicking on the image below or at the right would do it.  Please?  Pretty please????
• Confession #19 – I have had that much wine.  I just understand moderation as it pertains to the internet, not to the wine.