Thursday, June 6, 2013

I Don’t Know if I Am Ready For This.

Almost six years ago, an impatient little girl decided to break my water and bring joy into the lives of me and Hubby.  Biggest was born.  She couldn’t wait until her due date, opting instead to arrive four weeks early.  Biggest has always been eager to grow up, much to my chagrin. 

Yesterday, Biggest lost her first tooth.  I have been torn between excitement at seeing her grow older, sadness because she is growing older, and generally grossed out because she has a gaping hole in her gums.  She kind of looks like a redneck.  We may rename her Cletus. 


Today, Biggest had kindergarten recognition.  As I watched her file in to the gym with her classmates, laughing, hugging, playing thumb wars, I was struck by how fast she is continuing to grow.  My little baby is not so little any more.  I don’t know if I am ready for this.  Is any parent ever ready for this?

Biggest has friends who she shares secrets with.  She has conversations I am not privy to.  She has her own sense of style, her own way of talking, her own catch phrases.  Biggest has really developed into a person, not just my child.  I don’t know if I am ready for this.

So what does all these changes mean for me and Hubby?  I have always been one of her best friends.  She has always come to me (and Hubby) to tell secrets, to snuggle, to play games.  When did it all change?  I don’t know if I am ready for this.  I just don’t think I have a choice in the matter.  It is going to happen, whether I want it to or not.  Hopefully, she won’t lose all her like and love of mom as she grows.


At least I still have Littlest…..until she starts 4-K next fall…..


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