The other day at work one of the best songs ever came on. It was Pump Up the Volume by MARRS. I was ready to bust out my junior high dance moves, which naturally, I did. What struck me as odd was the 20 year old I was working with at the time didn’t seem to know most of my moves. He was perplexed that anyone could ever dance like that in public on purpose. Doesn’t he realize how cool it was in the late 80’s and early 90’s?
I don’t want to admit it but lately I am realizing my age. It is true, I am not 16 any more. Hell, I am not even 26 anymore. I have to face it, the things I knew from my youth are no more. Much like generations before me, I am forced to face the fact that young people will start to look at me strangely for going into detail about things we did in our youth, like making up dance routines on our battery operated boom boxes at recess or trying to shot that God damned dog while playing Duck Hunt on the Nintendo (which I always had to play at my friend’s houses because I wasn’t allowed to have one). Gone are the days when I must get used to being met with blank stares when I talk about awesome movie/song/toy/whatever references from days of old. Here is a list of things which have made me realize I not a youngin’ anymore:
- I know what a card catalog is and have used one. Do kids even have these anymore? Will the classic library scene from Ghostbusters confuse the hell out of our kids in the future?
- At one point in time, I had a large selection of the clothing line Multiples in my closet. And a pair of Zubaz (the zebra print ones) which I wore with a black T shirt, rolled the bottoms and donned a felt hat. Oh yeah, I was stylin’.
- I also used to tight roll or pin my pants. I like to cling to the idea that it was the original skinny jean, so I was just ahead of my time.
- I had a pager. Yup, I was cool.
- I learned how to write cursive in elementary school. Apparently, this is becoming a lost art.
- I have made mixed tapes by recording songs off the radio. The trick was, start recording after the DJ stopped talking but before he started up again at the end. Those guys always managed to ruin the best songs…
- Some of the movies I saw in the theater: ET, All Dogs Go to Heaven, Big, Return of the Jedi, Muppets Take Manhattan.
- Email was still a relatively new concept when I was a freshman in college.
- I remember when the first Sweet Valley High and Babysitter’s Club books were released (plus The Fabulous Five, Sweet Valley Twins, you name it).
- My first cell phone was huge. It held phone numbers, had a few basic ringtones, and I could play the game “Snake” on it. That was all it did. I managed to survive.
- I used to record TV shows on a VCR. It was a bummer if you accidentally recorded over something. It was a bonus if you knew how to record on one channel and watch another.
- Saturday mornings were the time for cartoons. They were not educational. They were Kid Video, Gummi Bears, Smurfs, Dungeons and Dragons, Muppet Babies!
- I don’t think I was ever put in a carseat or a booster seat. Not sure what they did when I was a baby…..could explain a lot.
- MTV played music videos. You were only distracted (and slightly annoyed) when Kurt Loder did a brief news break every now and then.
- My hair scrunchie (which was probably on my wrist, not in my hair) matched not only my shirt and pants, but also my socks.
- Some phones had dials, not buttons.
- We had the original Barbie Town House. It was made of cardboard.
- TGIF used to be something you watched on ABC on Friday nights.
- My penny loafers actually had pennies in them. So did my Kangaroos. I also kept all my LA Gear key chains and buttons.
- Cassette tapes I possessed: Vanilla Ice, New Kids on the Block (both New Kids on the Block and Hangin’ Tough), Paula Abdul, a vast array of Madonna albums, Milli Vanilli.
- I used to watch the NKOTB VHS tape, Hangin’ Tough, repeatedly. It was awesome!
- I remember Mayor McCheese, Fry Guys, and the Hamburgler. I even remember when they launched the Chicken McNugget. I still have the figurine somewhere.
- We had the original Care Bears, Strawberry Shortcake dolls, and My Little Ponies.
- I still have my Pound Puppies, including the ones you could buy at Hardees.
- I know who shot JR.
Younger generations, like Biggest and Littlest’s, you may laugh at these ideas now. You may think you are so cool and advanced, that you will never be old and cling to your memories of times when nobody had an iPhone. Just wait. Someday, the iPhone will be outdated, you will be the only person who knows how to text, what Facebook is, and who Dora the Explorer was. Then you will know how I am feeling right now.