Last week, my biggest and I got into a fight. She wanted to wear a specific pair of jeans to school. Not just any jeans, either. She was insisting on wearing her new skinny jeans. When I told her to pick a pair from her drawer, she began to cry because none of them were skinny jeans. God forbid she go to school wearing a boot cut pair of denim?
Cut to later in the week, same child and I are having an argument over a haircut. I have been planning on cutting her long locks at the end of the summer into an inverted bob for back to school and am currently preparing her for the shock. I have a terrible suspicion that she will go into thermonuclear meltdown, in her usual dramatic fashion, and would rather avoid this event at the hair salon. So this week, we have been arguing about what said haircut will look like. She is insisting on getting the same haircut as her friend at school. Today, I saw her friend’s hair. It is what I wanted to do anyway but apparently mom’s idea was not described properly. I wonder if the stylist who cuts her hair will know what she wants when she asks for Lily’s haircut.
I don’t know where my daughters learn this stuff. I cannot remember the last time I cried over skinny jeans. Or braids versus ponytails. Or chipped nail polish on my fingers (actually, I am often too lazy to even paint my nails. Takes too much time to dry and I can’t paint straight). I love that my girls have adopted a girly side, sharing my love of fashion (although theirs is much more……creative….than mine), makeup, and pampering.
But like all moms, I worry they are going to develop issues with body image and self confidence. At what point do I draw the line with their love of pampering and style? How do I keep them from thinking they need to be something specific as dictated by what they see on TV or in a magazine?
I think the answer is to show them balance in my own life. Teach them to be their beautiful selves, develop their own sense of style, their own brand of sparkle. Hell, I hope they will learn from me that you can be a fashionista one day and a Comic Con costume wearing geek the next (or even both in the same day!!). You can love your skinny jeans one day and your yoga pants the next.
Moving forward, I will continue encourage my girls to play with fashion and makeup. Encourage them to be girly, if that is what they want. I will let them continue to play with my makeup (well….some of my makeup. That shit gets expensive), paint their nails when asked (or let my husband do it because he is better at it than I am) and have fun getting dressed in the morning. But they will always be taught they can still get dirty when they want, read comic books, and dress up in nerdy costumes at cool events (like Comic Con, perhaps). They can love every minute of being themselves, whether they want to be sparkly or not.